You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
