he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I just found a bag of teeth...
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Randomize
