Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
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