Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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