I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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