It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
