Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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