I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Randomize