Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize
