her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
