New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
