i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
