I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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