Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I would fuck him just for his dog
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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