I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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