we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
