I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
