i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
