You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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