i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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