So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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