WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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