I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
