ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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