these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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