After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
