Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
