I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors