I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.