It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
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There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
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There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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