Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
23 Concerns People Have When They’re About To Have Sex With Someone New
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink