Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
