Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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