i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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