i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
