If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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