I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
