I wanna bring you to show and tell
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Success! We fucked roommates!
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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