i permit you to call me
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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