I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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