Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
