Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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