so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I will pee on everything he values.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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