she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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