well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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