fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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