actually, I'm a sock model
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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