At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Randomize
