You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
