rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
