The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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