You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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