I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
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