singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
