the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
