Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?