Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.

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(412): Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink. http://tfl.nu/ozhg

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(352): View more from Florida

New low: just hacked my moms facebook

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(352): New low: just hacked my moms facebook http://tfl.nu/hg9x

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(859): View more from Kentucky

Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?

(1-859): View more from Kentucky

im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle

(859): View more from Kentucky

Guys should not giggle. Ever.

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(859): Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean? (1-859): im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle (859): Guys should not giggle. Ever. http://tfl.nu/p9xa

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(515): View more from Iowa

John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.

(1-515): View more from Iowa

As in blowjob or cannibalism?

(515): View more from Iowa

I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.

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(515): John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance. (1-515): As in blowjob or cannibalism? (515): I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal. http://tfl.nu/r3de

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(651): View more from Minnesota

i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.

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(651): i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen. http://tfl.nu/ur6p

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(650): View more from California

Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.

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(650): Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap. http://tfl.nu/3ryi

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(210): View more from Texas

every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY

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(210): every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY http://tfl.nu/204o

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(808): View more from Hawaii

she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous

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(808): she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous http://tfl.nu/8uf4

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.

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(780): The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone. http://tfl.nu/xun1

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(561): View more from Florida

I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.

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(561): I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition. http://tfl.nu/6rth

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(252): View more from North Carolina

I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.

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(252): I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time. http://tfl.nu/viaw

Replies (1) Good night (1102) Bad night (484)
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(416): View more from Toronto

He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.

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(416): He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead. http://tfl.nu/aau2

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(912): View more from Georgia

Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say

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(912): Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say http://tfl.nu/bgnm

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(989): View more from Michigan

I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.

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(989): I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed. http://tfl.nu/yar6

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(904): View more from Florida

But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?

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(904): But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore? http://tfl.nu/czg8

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