I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.