Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize