I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
