Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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