Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
