sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
