you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
