I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
