Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
