woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
