he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I touched a dick in church today
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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